Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
