Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Let's get the cat blown out
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
