I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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