I'm lost and stupid without you.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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