This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
