May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
tell me about the fingering
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