Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
