.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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