i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
