how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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