I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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