i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
