I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
