Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Your mouth is God's brothel.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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