in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
