You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I still have a little drunk in my system
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
