Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
