No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't deserve a penis
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
