Duck Duck Cougar?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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