we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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