You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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