just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
