My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The uberlube is also flammable
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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