Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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