trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
