Yo dont text me then not text me
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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