I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
