I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
