just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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