i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
