I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
