He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
