She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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