Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
