we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
