you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
