Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
