I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
