fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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