We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
