if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I deserve this hangover.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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