Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
