I need help removing her.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
