***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
