He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
