so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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