i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
