In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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