Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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