There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
