Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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